Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Day 4: The Importance of Good Support


Like my boobs, having good support is essential to looking and feeling my best.  A poor support system will leave you feeling saggy, sad, and deflated, while a strong support system will pick you up, make you strong, and give you much more confidence!  This is probably one of the most important parts of any attempt to change your life (quitting smoking, drinking, partying, eating crappy, exercising, etc.)  Having struggled with weight and weight loss efforts for as long as I can remember it's crazy to think back about all of those people who would do their best to sabotage your best efforts.  A lot of times people will say, "well, I didn't force you to eat the donut,"  They're right, but they brought them which is just as bad.  Or the boyfriends that will want to go out to eat fast food and tell you to just say no.  It isn't happening.  Sorry.  I have read and experienced a lot of the feelings that happen when people try to change their life.  So for anyone in my boat or even those supporting people like me, here are a few sad, but true tips that I had experienced back in the day:

1) Don't be surprised if your "friends" say things like "Oh. Are you sick?  You are losing so much weight."  "You look too thin."  Women are the worst.  Seriously.  I hate our gender for that reason alone.  Women love to bring each other down (think Mean Girls) and we try to do it in the most conspicuous ways.  If you go out to dinner, sometimes people will tease you about the choices you make because they are subconsciously feeling bad about their ginormous greasy burger with salty french fries and Death By Chocolate cake.  Ignore, ignore, ignore.  If you can't....don't go until you are strong enough to pass on the crap.

(No.  The asparagus does not offset the french fries.)

2) Get ready to no longer be "the fat friend".  While this won't happen to me this time around (I only surround myself with people who have been with me from the get go.  They knew me when I was fat, when I was thin, and who I am now.  They look past my outer shell and appreciate me for who I truly am!  Yay for awesome people!)  I did experience this when I had my massive weight loss in Korea.  I came back and after the harsh criticism that I lost too much weight, they just never spoke to me again.  And yes, they were women.  Be thankful that these type of people leave.  They were not your friends to begin with.  They kept you around to make themselves feel better.

3) Find people who are going in the same direction as you.  Join a running club, take up a class (I'm so excited for ballet in the fall!!!), do yoga.  Like I suggest to anyone wanting to get better at anything, get yourself together with like minded people.  Not only will they (hopefully!) support you, but they will also help you and you can help them.  And helping others feels good, no?

4)Let your friends and family know what you are embarking on.  By letting them know they will either support you by ensuring when you go to their house, out to eat, etc. that you will be given only healthy options.  I called my sister and told her I needed her support.  Not because she was sabotaging me, but because she owns a bakery and it's so hard for me to resist a cookie here and there (or everywhere.)  I needed her to know I was serious so that when I come to visit I am not offered gummy candies or cookies because at this point in my adventure I cannot say no.  Also, in Cori's case, she has the opposite problem of me.  She has a hard time eating because she forgets about the time (she has two kids and a full time home business....literally she is crazy) and one time we had a very open discussion about what I should say to her (I was nagging her "You should just eat!  Why don't you just eat?"  and she was nagging me "Just say no.  I'm not forcing you to eat it.")  It is very important to open those lines of communication because I had no idea it was that hard for her and that conversation sticks with me all the time.  Instead of nagging her, now I make gentle suggestions about easier ways to slip food into her day and for myself she shows me recipes that her husband follows to get his goals back on track.  Without communication, things aren't happening.  So do not be ashamed of what you are trying to accomplish and shout it out the world, that way you can get a stellar support system!

5)Talk about your struggles.  If you aren't a talker, get a journal (or a blog!).  If you just keep everything supressed it eventually will come to a head and in the case of  a weight loss journey this usually means binge eating your way through a box of Double Stuffed Oreos and lying on the couch in your underwear for the entire day watching a Netflix series from start to finish.  Not a good way to go.  Talk it out, write it out, whatever you need to do to get it out before you sabotage yourself.

6)Lastly, SELF SABOTAGE!  This is by far the worst and I have seen soooo many cases of this when I worked at the weight loss clinic, but also in my own attempts.  It comes down to a rigid plan or structure that you try to follow and when you fall off you say "Well, I've already blown it for today!  I may as well just start again tomorrow...." NO!! Start at your next snack/meal to eat healthy, clean, and well.  It's just a small bump in the road, do not make it into a pot hole.

The reason why I bring up support system in today's post is because I am so thankful for the amazing people that surround me.  Yesterday I was doing some photos for my bestie, Stephanie and she asked me if I had gone for my walk yet.  I had said "No, because [insert excuse here]"  so she asked if I would want to go for a walk with her.  Of course I said yes!  Without Steph, I wouldn't have went for a walk yesterday because I had built up too many excuses in my head.  So thanks, Steph!!!

(taken from 2007)

As for what I ate yesterday, it was too dang hot to make chili so I whipped up a quick stir fry (I don't liked super cooked veggies) and my mom will be happy because I even included broccoli!  I'm weird....I like pretty much all vegetables raw, but cooked ones make me gag.  Also, for lunch I had created a salad using 2 of the left over turkey burgers and balsamic vinegar and olive oil dressing.  'Twasn't horrid, so that was good!

Date: August 20, 2013

Current weight: 244 lbs

Goal for the day: 25 minute walk in the park/play with Cori's kidlings

What is your plan for food today?

B: 2 organic eggs scrambled with cilantro plus apple, carrot, beet, ginger juice

S: handful of nuts

L: leftover stirfry

S:1 cup Greek Yogurt with berries

Su: Organic Elk Meat stuffed into tomatoes

Planned water intake: 96 oz (4 water bottles full)


  1. Haha - those sandals were actually a legitimate excuse. Thanks for toughing it out!

  2. It's so easy falling off the wagon. When I embarked on my healthier eating back in January, I made it all the way up until May. But when June, July and August heat came, I figured I would be out and about and sweating it out. But that never really happened.

    I also stopped doing my chin up and pull up challenge (every time I went into the basement, I had to do 12, EVERY TIME!) so getting things from the freezer, laundry, computer... all became an excuse not to go downstairs lol

    And yes... having a wife who always has baked goods around can make it harder. I like to blame her as my self control is really the real issue here ;)

    Needless to say, I went down to my all time low of 166 lbs back in May (even lower than when I used to go to the gym 24/7) and I had to make a new notch in my belt.

    To my current fluctuating weight of 170-172 lbs but more noticeably, my belt notch which is back to the original notches on the belt. Meaning my mid section has been taking the toll of the weight gain over the last few months.

    So just like you, I am jumping back on board the healthier eating train and working on my self control.

    What we really need to do is start our fight club, you know what? We have a wide open back yard... just sayin'