Day 1: Here we goooooooooooooooooooooooo

Alright, so I have decided to start my clean eating journey here.  Let me start of by saying this has absolutely nothing to do with being skinny and everything to do with being healthy.  A little about myself:

My name is Teri Hofford and I have always struggled with my weight.  When I was little I would get teased for being fat (I think I was mildly plump in a cute way, but whatevs) and I think that just helped to spur the need to eat.  A lot of people seem to think that heavy people only eat because it is out of being sad, missing something, lonely, etc.  But to be honest, I am none of those things!! I am super happy, I love my life, it is fulfilling, but my problem is that I just freaking love the taste and texture of food.

I am the type of person that will eat the same thing for days straight if I like it.  Then I get sick of it and start again.  I have no shut off valve.  I don't know when I'm full until my stomach is so tight it literally hurts.  I can't just say "no" to things because it is not in my make up.  I am similar to an alcoholic in that I literally have to treat eating like I have an addiction...but the hard thing is, I cannot cut out food completely (such as an alcoholic should do with a drink), I still need to eat.

In 2004, my life changed!  I had moved to Korea on a whim to teach English and as a result of the Korean diet, walking everywhere, and eventually taking up martial arts, I found I had lost over 100 lbs.  I had gotten into bodybuilding as my boyfriend at the time was a bodybuilder, so eating clean was super easy.  I managed to maintain that lifestyle while I was in Korea because it was so easy.  I had the time to prep during the day, every day...I had very few friends to persuade me to eat or drink or go out.  It was awesome!  I remember how I felt when I was so strong and fit and the fact that I had done it.  I had always settled with the fact that I would be fat, but then that happened.  Yay!

Then I moved back to Canada in November of 2006.  First off, I moved to Regina and as far as restaurants go, to find places that were organic, healthy, etc. were minimal.  At first it was somewhat easy to implement my current dietary requirements of your basic chicken, tuna, eggs, and oatmeal.  But then I began to make friends.  Then I worked in a call center where I sat for most of the day and conveniently was located above the mall food court.  I still worked out at the gym, but it wasn't as consistent, nor did I have a specific goal in mind.  Because I had gone so hard for 2 years, I found that I just didn't have that drive anymore.  I over did it perhaps.  Slowly, my lifestyle changed from working out every day to maybe working out once or twice a week and eating healthy changed to convenient and fun.  I finally had a life again!!

It wasn't until about 2009 when my weight started to creep back on.  I was working for a weight loss company starting in 2009 and I was never good enough for them.  They hired me because of my transition from 270lbs to 185lbs, but then when I was working there I was told to "not wear skirts" because my legs were too big.  I was told to exercise more, follow the plans more, and even though I did everything I was told, I was never good enough for them.  I found that as a result of working for that company I started to hate eating healthy because what was the point?  If I followed, I wasn't good, so why not enjoy life and go crazy?  Combine that with a not so phenomenal relationship and tada! Hello, weight gain!!  While that was no excuse, it's the truth.

Well, that craziness spurred where I am today, close to my original weight.  I am back up to 250lbs.

While I no longer work for that company and I am no longer in that relationship, I am struggling with getting back into healthy habits.  I'm also turning 30 this year and I have a lot of things that need to change.  With this increase in weight I have noticed the following:

1)joints are sore
2)swelling of the feet and legs when I wake up in the morning
3)excess facial hair (lovely, right?)
4)adult acne (awesome...)
5)poor cardiovascular health
6)poor posture
7)bloating
8)uncomfortable
9)depressed about myself
10)uncontrollable cravings and the need to "keep eating"

So those are just the top 10, but I am sure as they happen, I will notice more.  What I think is particularly interesting is that had I stayed heavy my whole life those above things would be "normal" to me...but because I used to be fit and smaller I know what it is like to not feel that way.

I think that by starting this again I am accepting my failure and I think that is why it has taken me so long to change my life again.  Nobody likes to face the fact that they have failed (especially not someone who likes to be good at everything!)


This time around I have different challenges.  I am with an amazing boyfriend who loves to spoil me by taking me out to dinner a lot and its always easier for me to choose the grilled cheese lobster sandwich with yam fries instead of going for the salmon and rice.  He is extremely supportive of me changing my life (because in return he knows its good for his too!  And not just because I won't be grumpy with him.)  but old habits die hard and when we first met, he was eating restaurant or take out food 95% of the time.  Not that it was bad restaurants (he found early on that those did not agree with him!) but it was just much more convenient.  I mean seriously, wouldn't you rather roll out of bed and head to Cora's for some delicious breakfast than sweat over the stove?  Now that we live together, though, I am finding that my eating habits are mimicking his.  In addition to that, he usually doesn't get home from work until midnight most nights and then will want to snack.  Because I am awake, I will snack with him which we all know is a big no-no.

In addition to that, I also have my own work schedule to contend with.  I am a full time photographer and for those of you that run your own business you know that work doesn't ever really end and you creative people will understand that inspiration doesn't run from 9-5.  My day is never the same and as much as I try to schedule it things happen.  I sit a lot when I am not at photoshoots in an effort to blog, update social media and of course edit my images.  When I am on a roll, I lose track of time and before you know it I have missed lunch and now will eat continuously throughout the evening.

Lastly, my family is close to me!  My mom and sister are both fabulous cooks and bakers and I love to see them.  Our lives revolve around family dinners or get togethers.  I called my sister last night and told her I need her support on this and that when I help with tradeshows, etc. that she should not send me home with baked goods.

Every day I will attempt to post a series of questions and answers to keep it simple, but to also help me document where I am.

With that said, here I go.  Wish me luck and feel free to follow along or not.  I am not going to guarantee that I will be perfect at this (nobody ever is) but I will be diligent.  I will document and I will enjoy the changes that my body will provide me in exchange for giving it nutritious food and exercise!

This will be my journey to change my life.



Date: August 17, 2013

Current weight: 248 lbs

Goal for the day: 25 minute walk in the park

What is your plan for food today?

B: apple, carrot, ginger juice
    2 eggs and 1 egg white with various spices

S: handful of nuts

L: bison burger wrapped in lettuce with tomatoes

S: blueberries and almonds

Su: Salmon and quinoa

Planned water intake: 96 oz (4 water bottles full)